Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use
the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you
still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying
of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax
cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2 In the 60′s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do
today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- – - and as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age— it
doesn’t last long.”

We’ve scouted for numerous ‘potential’ Apple products created by fans and anti-fans and picked out some of the most unthinkable concepts that perhaps don’t make sense in the present day. Whether they truly have the potential to be developed or not, it’s up to you to judge. In the meantime, be prepared to be amazed and intrigued by the list!

iFridge

What if you have a fridge that looks like your iPod? You have a simple black-and-white menu on the door that allows you to adjust the fridge’s thermostat and other settings to keep your food fresh and cold. Not forgetting that you can play your favourite tunes in your playlist, probably using the giant fridge as your speakers cum sub-woofer. Hey, maybe this isn’t a bad idea after all. (via Macmagazine)

iToilet

This is a good example of how unnecessary complexity can be added into an easy-to-use product like your toilet. Like using an apple computer, the user has to drag items which he wants to delete into the waste disposal area, and confirms the deletion. Similarly, the unclogging procedure is series of steps made complicated using Apple computers’ troubleshooting solutions. Of course, this anti-fan spoof was simply made to mock at Apple’s fanatics who buy anything Apple sells. (via Electric-Chicken)

iProtection

You can put your mind at ease with this device when you’re walking alone through dark alleys. This is a 800,000-volt stun gun that includes a built-in GPS tracker that informs the local law enforcement of your wherabouts should you be in danger. It is even ergonomically designed to include a single flat face, such that the baton will not roll away should you dropped it accidentally in the midst of an assault. Trust me, no one will mess with you if you’re holding this beast.

iEye

iEye is the implantation of a digital camera into your eye socket. Your eyesight get augmented with 20 times higher resolution than the average human eye, and you to get to magnify your vision up to 12 times. On top of that, you get to record visual data into a built-in hard drive, which can be shared with others and playback at your own request. Cool if you don’t mind being a cyborg. (via Uncyclopedia)

MegaBar

Want to show off the good connectivity of your iPhone? Plug in MegaBar, the super-sized signal bars for iPhone. No, it doesn’t improve your connectivity at all. It’s only meant to be seen, by you and your friends. That’s it. (via Scoopertino)

iWater

You’ll love this if you are a hardcore superfan of Apple. Even everyday necessities like water can be marketed effectively to the millions of Apple fans out there. Drink up!

Magic Footpad

A sequel to the Magic Trackpad, Magic Footpad literally takes a step into the future. Now you can use your toes to execute those commands while your fingers handle the rest of your tasks. Better still, you can combine using both the trackpad and footpad to maximize the number of commands you can make with all your toes and fingers. But the fact is your feets and toes aren’t able to move as delicately and precisely as your fingers, so this probably won’t work out.

iDish

Having reception problems for your iPhone? It’s all going to be history with this mini satellite dish attached to your iPhone. It’s a definite five-bar reception everywhere you go. I certainly hope iPhone’s reception isn’t this bad to resort to such extreme measure though.

iHand

Remember the reception woes iPhone 4 faced when it was first launched? Apparently, there is a right way to hold your iPhone. So, instead of having to learn how to hold it properly all the time, users can purchase iHand and be assured that the phone is held in a manner that will receive the best reception. Of course, with everyone’s obsession to personalize every of their Apple products, iHand comes in different skin colors as well.

Mactini

Apple has made another revolution in computer technology with its release of the world’s smallest computer, the Mactini. One-inch long and with only a single key, users have to learn the sequencing of tapping the key to type the exact letter they want. The spoof is made to poke fun at the industry’s preoccupation to make every technology small, and perhaps, ineffective as a result. (via Funny or Die)

iRacquet

Do you love Apple products so much that you’ll get this Apple-logo tennis racket? God knows where the ball will fly. (via Worth1000)

iWatch

This analog pocket watch seems like a walk in the memory lane where technology wasn’t as advanced as it is today. If you look carefully though, this watch, or iWatch, has all kinds of hi-tech functions like a 160GB Harddrive, bluetooth, video and audio playback. While its capabilities are over-the-top, one wonders how one is able to tap into these functions on such a small piece of ‘antique’ you carry around in your pocket.

iPottie

Like iToilet, this device deals with your waste. Designed like an iPod, the iPottie probably allows you to play your favourite music while you do your business. Oh, it can even read the papers for you so you’ll keep up with the current affairs while you i(poop).

iArm

Although this exists only as a fake gift box as a prank, curiosity will make you imagine how it’d be like if only it’s real. Attaching iArm to your arms enable you to hold all sorts of things ranging from your tablet PCs to your dinner plates. You can even mount three things at one go! How convenient. Your arms will probably get its much needed workout too. Just try not to swing your arms and hit your iPad against the wall. (via Prank Pack)

iCarta (iPod stero dock and bath tissue holder)

This item on the list is actually available on sale. Don’t believe it? Check out the link. Once you purchase this, you can dock your iPod or iPhone into this bath tissue holder, play your music in high quality sound while you defecate. I’m sure you’ll love this if you can’t take one minute without your favourite tunes playing by your side. (via Atech Flash Technology)

White Apple Tablets

One wonders what these tablets will do for you. Well, knowing Apple’s tagline of ‘think differently’, I suppose these will boost your creativity or something. Warning: An overdose might cause some form of paranoia due to ‘over-thinking’. (via Obama Pacman)

Ever wondered what happened to the old facility that used to be the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in M.J. Cuenco Avenue? Well, it’s undergone a major facelift and has transformed itself into what we now know as Museo Sugbo.

The facility was designed in 1869, by a Spanish architect named Domingo de Escondrillas. He also designed a parish church in Pardo, Cebu City, named after Sto. Tomas de Villanueva. It is relatively large because it was intended to be the principal prison complex in the Visayas region.

The CPDRC structure was built in 1871. Back then, it was also known as Carcel de Cebu, and it served as the main prison in the province. Among its many incarcerated criminals are members of the Katipunan during the Philippine revolution and some World War II guerillas.

In 1892, the CPDRC was renovated. More buildings were built behind the main structure.  Into the 21st century, the facility continued to serve as a prison until the provincial government transferred CPDRC  to a more modern and more spacious prison complex in Kalunasan, Cebu City.

Following the transfer, the facility was temporarily occupied by the Department of Education until the provincial government decided to convert the place into a museum showcasing Cebuano’s heritage and  history. The facility is now known as Museo Sugbo, or the Cebu Museum.

The museum, which highlights Cebu’s political history, is considered a replica of the National Historical Institute’s Museum of Philippine Political History.  It was declared open to the public in 2008, during the 439th founding anniversary celebration of the province of Cebu.

For a small fee of Php 30.00 for adults and Php 10.00 for students and senior citizens, one can already bear witness to the heroism and unique culture of our ancestors, as evidenced by the artifacts they have left for us. The museum has four galleries, each presenting a political period of Cebu. The artifacts on display include a copy of “Ang Suga” (the first Cebuano newspaper), “The Brownie” (a spy camera used during the Japanese-American war), and a Christmas card written in Cebuano by former president Manuel Quezon.

Holy Week in Christianity is the last week of Lent and the week before Easter. It includes the religious holidays of Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday (Holy Thursday) and Good Friday, and lasts from Palm Sunday (or in the Eastern, Lazarus Saturday) until, but not including, Easter Sunday, as Easter Sunday is the first day of the new season of The Great Fifty Days. It commemorates the last week of the earthly life of Jesus Christ as recorded in the Canonical gospels.

Palm Sunday – April 17, 2011
Holy Wednesday – April 20, 2011
Maundy Thursday – April 21, 2011
Good Friday – April 22, 2011
Black Saturday – April 23, 2011

The Filipino-American singer, songwriter and producer debuted into popularity with the song entitled “Grenade,” which sold over 500,000 copies in just a week. Bruno’s songs have been nominated for a variety of awards, including the BET Hip-Hop, Teen Choice, and MTV awards. The 25-year-old artist was nominated for seven Grammys and he bagged the Grammy for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance for the song “Just the Way You Are.”

Bruno Mars was born in 1985, in Honolulu, Hawaii. His real name is Peter Gene Hernandez. He was born into a music-oriented family. His Filipina mother is a vocalist while his Puerto Rican father was a percussionist for a band. He was nicknamed Bruno after his father’s favorite wrestling champion, Bruno Sammartino. As for the name Mars, the artist explains that girls say he’s out of this world and he’d like to think he’s from the red planet.

At the age of four, Bruno Mars started singing by impersonating the legendary Elvis Presley. He was featured as “Little Elvis” in the MidWeek newspaper, which earned him a cameo role in “Honeymoon in Vegas.” He pursued a singing career right after graduating high school. He initially worked with Philip Lawrence as part of the Smeezingtons. He co-wrote “Long Distance,” which was recorded by Brandy. In 2009, he put his name on the top charts by co-writing “Right Round,” a hit song by Flo Rida. By 2010, he was everywhere.

“Nothin’ on You,” Bruno Mars’ collaboration with B.o.B, and “Billionaire,” which he co-wrote with Travie McCoy, both became Top 10 hits. These songs inspired him to launch a solo career. He released his debut extended play entitled “It’s Better If You Don’t Understand” in May 2010. He then released his debut album, “Doo-Wops & Hooligans,” in October 2010.

Watch Bruno Mars sing live on April 7, from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., at Waterfront Cebu. Ticket prices for the concert range from as affordable as Php800+ to Php4,999. For more information, contact Waterfront Cebu at

At 8:30 PM on Saturday, March 26, 2011, lights will switch off around the globe for Earth Hour and people will commit to actions that go beyond the hour. This year, the observance of Earth Hour will be offered for the people of Japan during a challenging and sad time for their country.

Earth Hour, which started in 2007 in Sydney, Australia with 2.2 million individuals and more than 2,000 businesses turned their lights off for one hour to take a stand against climate change, is now on its fourth year in the Philippines.

The country topped global Earth Hour participation levels for both 2009 when 10 million Filipinos in 647 towns, cities and municipalities switched off, while 15 million Filipinos in 1076 towns and cities joined the 2010 switch-off.

On March 27, 2010, Earth Hour became the biggest ever. A record 128 countries and territories joined the global display of climate action. Iconic buildings and landmarks from Asia Pacific to Europe and Africa to the Americas switched off. People across the world from all walks of life turned off their lights and came together in celebration and contemplation of the one thing we all have in common – our planet.

Will this be surpassed by Earth Hour 2011?

Earth Hour 2011 will take place on Saturday, March 26, 2011 at 8:30PM (Manila time). People from all walks of life are encouraged to go beyond the hour, so after 60 minutes, when the the lights go back, organizers urge everyone to think about what else all of us can do to make a difference.

‘Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’shome early!’

‘I can’t jump out the window. It’s raining out there!’

‘If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!’ she replied. ‘He’sgot a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!’

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out thewindow! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered hehad run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he startedrunning along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in asbest he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had beenwatching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

Do you always run in the nude?’ one asked.

‘Oh yes!’ he replied, gasping in air. ‘It feels so wonderfully free!’

Another runner moved a long side. ‘Do you always run carrying your clotheswith you under your arm?’

‘Oh, yes’ our friend answered breathlessly. ‘That way I can get dressedright at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!’

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, ‘Do you alwayswear a condom when you run?’

‘Nope..just when it’s raining.’